My apologies for my e-silence over the last couple of weeks. Recent ministry demands and opportunities left little time for any kind of musings, let alone quality coherent ones.
Since we last met, God has shown Himself powerfully in the midst of my weakness and doubt. Our church is in the midst of what to us feels like a fairly large capital giving campaign. The truth is if I could opt out on one area of pastoral ministry and leadership this would be my first, second and third choice.
However, what has been an uncomfortable discovery in these days is that this was not merely a deficiency in my skill sets or even a quirk of my personality. It has been a weakness of my faith.
I consider myself to be a person who is very comfortable believing big things about God and what He wants to do. I have little difficulty trusting God in my own finances. There is no sense believing in a medium sized God capable of only moderately difficult things. Yet Satan seems to have wide open access to my heart and spirit when it comes to financially intensive ministry projects. Over the last few weeks I have felt my heart shrivel in the face of the project. I doubt my church has noticed, but probably my staff has. I know my family has been more aware than they ever wanted to.
We will announce the results of our recent pledge campaign this coming Sunday. We will celebrate God's great work in our midst. And I will be more than a little embarrassed by my doubt and fear in these days.
Yes, in my weakness our Lord will be glorified. For that I am most grateful and totally dependent.
But the question that must be answered is, "will I allow my weakness to be transformed by His glory?" I pray it has been.
Since we last met, God has shown Himself powerfully in the midst of my weakness and doubt. Our church is in the midst of what to us feels like a fairly large capital giving campaign. The truth is if I could opt out on one area of pastoral ministry and leadership this would be my first, second and third choice.
However, what has been an uncomfortable discovery in these days is that this was not merely a deficiency in my skill sets or even a quirk of my personality. It has been a weakness of my faith.
I consider myself to be a person who is very comfortable believing big things about God and what He wants to do. I have little difficulty trusting God in my own finances. There is no sense believing in a medium sized God capable of only moderately difficult things. Yet Satan seems to have wide open access to my heart and spirit when it comes to financially intensive ministry projects. Over the last few weeks I have felt my heart shrivel in the face of the project. I doubt my church has noticed, but probably my staff has. I know my family has been more aware than they ever wanted to.
We will announce the results of our recent pledge campaign this coming Sunday. We will celebrate God's great work in our midst. And I will be more than a little embarrassed by my doubt and fear in these days.
Yes, in my weakness our Lord will be glorified. For that I am most grateful and totally dependent.
But the question that must be answered is, "will I allow my weakness to be transformed by His glory?" I pray it has been.
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